Modelling a GCSE essay

It occurred to me this week that I should try my hand at writing up one of our year 10’s GCSE essay questions. We are currently studying the Edexcel module, Early Elizabethan England 1558-1588, and have got to the Armada.

I have tried in my essay to model what a good essay answer should look like, but have no clue whether I’m on the right track or not. Would appreciate constructive comments on this.

The essay question is:

“The main cause of war between England and Spain in 1585 was religious tension.” How far do you agree with this statement?

The essay, in PDF format, can be found here: causes_of_war_with_spain.

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